Awkward Emotions
by Meg The Monster
Summary: The title says it all Contains: SasuXNaru Rated: T
1. Chapter 1

It started out as just a simple kiss. It meant nothing; it was nothing. Just a random moment that doesn't often occur in my life, having never been kissed. But, now that I think about it, it meant everything. It was life-altering to me and I can't even begin to tell you why it was. It was supposed to happen; it was supposed to change me. Now that it has, I wish I could turn back time and pretend like it never happened. I just want my emotions to turn back to normal instead of insane because, right now, that's what they are. I've fallen in love with my best friend…and I don't want to be.

It was just an ordinary day like any other. The sun hanged high in the clear, blue fullness of the sky and the clouds were nothing but little white puffs. A small breeze blew against the trees, shaking their branches and rustling the leaves. It was a regular training day in the forest and, what seemed at the time, a typical, boring day. I didn't think of it any different. My short, dark hair blew with the wind as it touched my skin. I sat on the branch of the tree, looking out and watching the others. I smiled, seeing them working hard for our next mission. Those blue eyes stared up at me, so innocent and bright that it almost made me want to smile back at him. I looked away though, as he did. With his view away from mine, I looked down at him and smiled. "Are you gonna sit there all day, Sasuke, or are you going to finally decide to join us," my Jounin, Kakashi, yells from the ground staring up at me.

I looked down at him in my usual cold-shouldered face and jumped out from the tree to join them. I could feel the spring breeze around me. That blond-haired, blue-eyed boys' smile returned to his face. It glowed like the rays of the sun, my eyes not wanting to look away from it. "I'm so gonna beat you this time," he says with arrogance at me as we walked back to the village to gather equipment. "You'll be the one eating my dust when I beat you there."

I roll my eyes and remain silent, knowing this ignorance of me answering him bothered him. It was enjoyable to watch him angry to say the least. His cheeks would turn a bright red and his whiskers would be colored in a reddish tint as well. His eyes would glaze over and just stare at me. I had to hold back any sort of laughter that came to my throat. "Awe c'mon, Sasuke, aren't you gonna say anything at all? You've been silent like this for the past three days. You hardly talk to anyone. C'mon…just one witty line," the blond-haired boy asks me.

I couldn't resist an answer at this point. His voice seemed to be begging me to talk. I had to though; watching him annoyed made me smile. I simply shook my head "no" in response. He remained silent, waiting for an answer; those blue eyes piercing into my skin. I looked away, part of me wanting to turn from them yet part of me desperately wanting to keep that gaze forever. Those blue eyes that haunted my dreams and stayed with me even when we were miles apart. I had a hard time admitting to myself how much I loved those blue eyes, let alone admit to him how I loved his eyes. Even daring to say those words to him would be a death curse, or worse. "If you don't talk to him, he's just going to keep begging so why don't you do us all a favor and talk to him," Sakura says, glaring at me as she looked back.

Must have been her time of the month. She's always temper mental when she's on hers. It's something you just know when you've been team mates since you were 12-years-old. I looked at him, his pathetic annoyance almost killing me. "I'm in no mood to talk and haven't been for a while, Naruto. Is that so hard to expect from me," I finally say to him. "So please, go bother someone else for a bit."

Naruto almost screams after I finish and turn my gaze back towards the front. He desperately tries not to, though it doesn't seem like it was working. I roll my eyes again, wishing he would just leave my side and walk behind me or in front of me so his gaze wouldn't be so close to mine. If I looked too long, something else would happen that I was afraid I wouldn't be able to hold back on. Making a move that I knew wasn't the right thing to do at the time. So I simply walked ahead of him, still having the knowledge that those eyes were blazing into my back. He didn't say anything for the rest of the time; just a simple annoyed groan and crossing his arms across his chest.

As we reached the inner gates of the village, Naruto finally couldn't resist his pestering nerve to speak. It was peaceful to say the least, the silence of the forest surrounding me and calming the treacherous thoughts that roamed through my mind. Things I'd rather kept locked away instead of blurting them out to a crowd of friends that would surprised to hear what was reeking havoc through me. In any sort of way, it wasn't at all pleasant. I needed that quiet peace of the forest; it's calming; it's relaxing; it's a complete escape from the inner workings of a teenage boys' sexually active, hormone-pumped head…brain. But, as it has been said many times, all good things must come to an end. And it did as soon as Naruto opened his mouth. "So, when are we leaving for the mission? I want to get some ramen in before we go," he announces.

Kakashi turns his head back towards him. "You'll have plenty of time to eat some ramen before we leave, Naruto. We won't leave for another week. We just need this extra time to practice on the basics. Seeing as how you struggled standing on the water, we'll start with chakra training tomorrow."

"I wasn't struggling," Naruto lies. "I just got a bit distracted by…something." His awkward pause and abnormal embarrassed blush ponder me to stare at him for a moment. He seemed almost nervous; suspicious to say the least. As I look at him, he tries to return my gaze but is too nervous to look my direction for long. He clears his throat, finally able to speak. "It was just a bird I saw flying by us. Just a bird," he lies again.

I look at him. He completely turns his head in the opposite direction. He refuses to look at me let alone even gaze in my direction. It just happened randomly and I didn't even know why it happened. I could tell it was really bothering him. I kept my mouth shut; kept my gaze in the direction I was walking so not to scare him in any sort of way. I hoped he was ok though. We reach the village 15 minutes later and he's still silent. I wave to the others, turning away from them to walk home. Naruto turns towards his apartment; an improvement in what he used to live in. An increase in his salary will do that to you I guess when you have enough money to afford a bigger place to live. I reach my home, drop my stuff inside, and run back to his apartment. It's still in the same area; still has the same glorious views of the city. I can see him through his window, which remains without glass for easy access. It's not particularly his nature to care about other ninjas or people getting in and robbing him; he doesn't have very much as it is.

Leaping through the curves and turns of the village roads, I make it towards his apartment building. He's sitting on the window seal, his face staring into the distance. His eyes looking into the serenity of his home and the entire town. It was breath-taking to see him so calm and peaceful; a sight that is usually hidden from me. He's usually hyper and rushed when I see him. Puberty has finally taken it's affect and calmed him down a bit. Nothing was wrong with that. He still possessed the occasional 10-year-old Ritalin-rush child that I had grown accustom to, but just more relaxed than he once was. "Do you always look like this or is this something I might not want to get used to," I yell from below, staring up at him.

He looks down at me, rolls his eyes, and looks away. He signals with a single arm motion that it's ok to come up. I jump up from the buildings below. He moves over as I jump through his window, then moves back. "I wasn't expecting to see you so suddenly," he replies. "I thought you'd be busy at home."

"With what? Cleaning the cob webs from the pillars or dusting off every surface in my house? There isn't much to do in my house," I respond.

"Well anything besides coming to see me. You've been avoiding me for a while so I figured that something had to have been bothering you. Besides, when did you actually care enough to come see me?"

"Well you're sudden awkward silence didn't help much. What was that about anyways. You're usually chatting up a storm once we get back to the village and today, you didn't have anything to say at all. Why the sudden awkward silence?"

Naruto is quiet once again. He doesn't say anything and turns his sight back to the outside. His face changes once again. It's more awkward and nervous, like before in the forest. Now I know something is bothering him. I walk up to him and press my hand against his shoulder in a comforting manner, though my brain is thinking a million other things right now. I can't help myself; I'm a teenager. I've already established that I liked him but I haven't directly said it until now. "You know you can tell me what's wrong. I might have my ass hole moments but that doesn't mean I'm not your friend."

He looks back me, my sincere eyes looking down at him. His blue eyes look back into mine; unable to look away. I feel my breath become weak. My thoughts spin at a hundred miles an hour. I feel myself being drawn towards him. The hairs on the back of my neck stand upright. My lips quiver in fear. And suddenly, my lips meet his. I can feel the back of his hand against my head. I grab his head in return. I could feel his lips opening slightly, my tongue taking it's opportunity to slip through. This kiss wasn't just passionate; it was fiery and heated. As I separate from him, I look him in the eyes. He looks back at mine, dumbfounded by what happened. "Apparently there's something you haven't told me that I think you should tell me now," I say.

The End…for now!


	2. Chapter 2

It's been this on-going, over-the-top, out of control roller coaster ever since my life began. I haven't fully figured it out yet, but I think I will eventually. At least I hope so. I've never met a challenge I didn't face head on. I faced the facts that I had no parents around anymore, the rejection of the entire village, the realization that people considered me a monster because of the Nine-Tailed Fox named Kyuubi, the academy, and my missions as a Genin. I've dealt with them head-on. I don't think I had any other choice. If I didn't, I'd fall on my face and wouldn't be able to get back up no matter how hard I tried. But the one thing I don't think I will face lightly is the fact that I could be bi…or gay. I never considered myself like that until recently. Then again, you end up thinking you might be when you find yourself waking up after having a sexual dream about your best friend who just happens to be a guy. And if that guy just happens to be Sasuke Uchiha, you know you're in trouble.

So there I was; sitting next to him after just kissing him. Those butterflies still fluttering in my stomach as his onyx colored eyes looked directly at me. It nearly made me melt right there, but I managed to maintain myself from embarrassment. My breath is rather staggered and a bit wheezy if you listened hard enough. I didn't think Sasuke noticed though. He was too busy staring back at me. "Apparently there's something you haven't told me that I think you should tell me now," he says to me, his voice sounding somewhat surprised yet still that same monotone sound.

I laugh nervously, completely unsure of what I would answer him. So I didn't expect myself to actually kiss him. In fact, I expected myself to push his face through the window and watch him fall to the streets below. Instead, I kiss him. I actually kissed him. I mean don't get me wrong; I like him. I really like him. I've liked him for some time but was just too scared to tell him the actual truth about how I felt. I've been afraid this whole time to tell him the exact truth. But now, I didn't think I had any other choice. I swallowed my pride, probably the first time I've ever considered doing that. I look at him, my face beat red and I nervously fiddle with my pants. "It's harder for me to say than I want to admit so you have to understand that if I stutter, it's only because I'm nervous and 100 unsure of myself." I pause. "So don't laugh at me."

Sasuke nods his heads. I get up, pace around the room, and try to piece together what I'm about to admit. "Look Sasuke I'll put this out there now…I like you. I've liked you since I was 12-years-old but never had the courage to tell you the truth because…it doesn't make much sense to me. I'm supposed to like Sakura; not you. Don't take that the wrong way! I ju…just…I don't understand." I rub the back of my head. I could feel bits of sweat drip from my forehead. I wipe them away with my hand. If it wasn't obvious to Sasuke how hard this was to say, my actions spoke louder than words at this point. He just stares at me, taking it all in. At least he wasn't freaking out yet. The key word was yet. So I start talking again. "I didn't want to tell you because you're my best friend and I don't want to ruin our friendship because that would be totally awkward to deal with. So there. I told you the truth. Happy?"

I take a seat on my couch, my face resting in my hands. I could feel my palms shaking a bit. I wondered what Sasuke would say next. He just sat there, staring at me. It made me even more off the edge to say the least. I wanted him to look away from me; find something else in the room to stare at. Of course he couldn't though. It's torture as I wait for him to speak. He finally gets up, sits next to me on the couch, and looks at me. He suddenly smiles. "I like you too. I just didn't want to tell you because I know how immature you can be about these things."

"I'm not immature," I interrupt, but it does prove his point clearly to me so I try as best as I can to remain silent.

"I just didn't want you to run away from me because that would break me apart. I really care about you Naruto. I just didn't know how to tell you the truth either. I guess that kiss was how we had to do it." I nod in agreement. "So…what do we do from here?"

"Why are you asking me? I've never had anything like this happen to me before so I don't know either," I reply.

Sasuke and I cross our arms over our chests. We don't say anything for a while; just sit on the couch and think about what would be the next step we take after we've kissed each other. To put it out there now, that was my first kiss. I'd never been kissed until that moment so it was even weirder for me. I look over at him, then look back forward. "I guess…we can go on like this kiss never happened or we take a step towards a relationship."

That word stuck in my mind; relationship. I hated that word. I didn't understand it and it always seemed to affect me in a certain form. It's something I don't think I'll ever understand because I was never meant to understand it. I prefer "friendship" or "dating" or whatever; not relationship. That word is bad juju in my opinion. I look over at him. "I guess I'm open to whatever you find best. I just don't want things to become awkward between us like they are right now. I'm getting a bit uncomfortable."

Sasuke smiles. "Well if we do date, it will be a homosexual relationship. You know that? People are going to call us "gay" and "queer". If you don't mind that, then I don't mind taking that step with you, Naruto. If not, then I guess I'll learn to deal. I'll give you some time to think about it though."

"Thanks," I say, smiling at him. I did need some time to think about this matter. Never did I think I would consider dating Sasuke. I mean, he's Sasuke. We're rivals but we're best friends. We can't be rivals and be together. It would make things complicated and both of us would end up getting hurt in the end anyways. "I'll think about this and give you an answer later."

Sasuke nods, standing up. "I have to get home. I got volunteered to help the academy students with their shuriken throws. Iruka came up to me before we went training and asked me if that would be ok. I actually have to wake up early tomorrow morning. I'll see you later, Naruto." And with that, he was gone.

I was left in my room, alone and in utter thought. I didn't know what to choice. I was more confused than I'd ever been before. And not being the smartest bulb on the block, I got confused often so this was saying something. I retreat to the bathroom, undress myself and turn on the shower water. "Maybe the shower will clear my head and help me concentrate. I can't think of a better answer than that," I think to myself. I step into the shower, the warm water pouring down my skin. I sigh, the water relaxing me. Once I step out though, that same uncertain feeling returned to my skin. I wasn't sure what I would do. "What if I do date him? What if our relationship, after a while, takes a physical turn? Will I be able to handle that or will I push him away? What will Kakashi and Sakura think about it? How will I tell Iruka? I tell Iruka-sensei everything! But what if we don't? Then I'm going to wish I had but he won't feel the same way about me and I'll feel even worse than I do now and the rest of our relationship will be full of hatred." Once I finished ruling out the positives and negatives, I finally made my choice. The question was…how was I going to tell Sasuke without feeling like a complete dork?

I decided I would tell him after he got done with the academy. I pick up the phone and call his house phone. No answer. I decide to leave a message for him. "Hey Sasuke it's Naruto. Um…I know we just talked but I wanted to tell you something. You talked about the whole dating/friendship thing. I think I finally made my choice. I'll meet you after you get done with the academy students at Ichiraku's Ramen Bar. If that's ok with you. We'll walk back to your house afterwards though. If you can, call me as soon as you here this. Bye." My message is clear and to the point. I smile, feeling satisfied.

Sure enough, about 15 minutes later Sasuke calls me back. He decides to send me a voice message on my phone instead though. "I'll meet you at Ichiraku's around 2:00 tomorrow. We can grab some lunch and walk back to my house to talk about this." I put my phone on the charger and return to the couch. I smile, but inside, I'm confused. "Let's hope my decision was right", I say to myself out loud.

The End!


End file.
